I'm so glad I had time to read this today. I appreciate the historical and the political, but it's the personal (or really it's intersection with all other things) that I'm really drawn to. Thank you for taking the time to put all of this into words.
Im not always best at following up with TE (you know, life and stuff), but every time I go back here, Im surprised how distinct it is. Really, I don't know where I can get stuff like this.
There are some things in my life that I can't really share, that doesn't really resonate with most people. Like here, with disilusionment. First with christianity, then with modernism. And then things started to get really weird.
And also trauma, both accidental and self-inflicted. It's a miracle that Im sane in any way.
Ok, so about disillusionments: I too discovered that there is really no viable alternative, some other "church" you could go that was free from those problems.
I keep coming back to McKenna (which you infected me with), because there was something interesting in his ideas. Of course predicting end of the world is a fool's errand, and sometimes he came a bit to close to pseudoscience - that is, tried to be more scientific than he should have - but he had his moments.
One of his ideas I really liked, was the way he talked about entities in DMT realm (machine elves, as they call them). He talked a lot about how those things are inherently playful, and you need to be "street smart" to make deals with them.
There is something interesting about this idea - beings fundamentally unconstrained, neither good or evil, but playful. Not malicious, but not to be trusted. And when I think about things from beyond the Edge, I suspects they are a lot like that. Maybe they are made of chasing the dragon, or are dragon themselves.
Yeah thats the crazy me right there, one that thinks and talks when I'm not concerned with any work. Maybe we are played with, sometimes, by forces that do it for shit and giggles. Maybe they show us UFO, or some other apparition. Or maybe I'm just paranoid.
Oh yes, thats another thing: during pandemic I encountered chapel perilous, before I even know about RAW - I was super paranoid about everything, but instead of turning into some conspiracy theorist, I became pan-agnostic, forever unsure of the very ground I walk on, and ground the whole world stands on.
Maybe we really built a city on a see, and told ourselves its firm ground. Maybe sea monsters are ripping it apart right now. And I say: good.
Im just rambling here, idk. Its weird existing in this moment of time. Trying to come up with something new, while not repeating trillion of other people's mistakes. Facing future, where constant growth just isn't possible, but there is no "The End", just living with consequences of our previous decisions. A need for new story, for new world.
And one last thing: I love DEVO, because its main theme is just disillusionment. For them it was witnessing Kent State shooting, that killed hippie in them. And particularly last song of their last album. Its about humanity - "a great little soldier, marching far from home. He was lost and he was lonelly, pretending to be bold".
Maybe something really will be revealed, maybe not. But we must march on.
I'm so glad I had time to read this today. I appreciate the historical and the political, but it's the personal (or really it's intersection with all other things) that I'm really drawn to. Thank you for taking the time to put all of this into words.
Im not always best at following up with TE (you know, life and stuff), but every time I go back here, Im surprised how distinct it is. Really, I don't know where I can get stuff like this.
There are some things in my life that I can't really share, that doesn't really resonate with most people. Like here, with disilusionment. First with christianity, then with modernism. And then things started to get really weird.
And also trauma, both accidental and self-inflicted. It's a miracle that Im sane in any way.
Ok, so about disillusionments: I too discovered that there is really no viable alternative, some other "church" you could go that was free from those problems.
I keep coming back to McKenna (which you infected me with), because there was something interesting in his ideas. Of course predicting end of the world is a fool's errand, and sometimes he came a bit to close to pseudoscience - that is, tried to be more scientific than he should have - but he had his moments.
One of his ideas I really liked, was the way he talked about entities in DMT realm (machine elves, as they call them). He talked a lot about how those things are inherently playful, and you need to be "street smart" to make deals with them.
There is something interesting about this idea - beings fundamentally unconstrained, neither good or evil, but playful. Not malicious, but not to be trusted. And when I think about things from beyond the Edge, I suspects they are a lot like that. Maybe they are made of chasing the dragon, or are dragon themselves.
Yeah thats the crazy me right there, one that thinks and talks when I'm not concerned with any work. Maybe we are played with, sometimes, by forces that do it for shit and giggles. Maybe they show us UFO, or some other apparition. Or maybe I'm just paranoid.
Oh yes, thats another thing: during pandemic I encountered chapel perilous, before I even know about RAW - I was super paranoid about everything, but instead of turning into some conspiracy theorist, I became pan-agnostic, forever unsure of the very ground I walk on, and ground the whole world stands on.
Maybe we really built a city on a see, and told ourselves its firm ground. Maybe sea monsters are ripping it apart right now. And I say: good.
Im just rambling here, idk. Its weird existing in this moment of time. Trying to come up with something new, while not repeating trillion of other people's mistakes. Facing future, where constant growth just isn't possible, but there is no "The End", just living with consequences of our previous decisions. A need for new story, for new world.
And one last thing: I love DEVO, because its main theme is just disillusionment. For them it was witnessing Kent State shooting, that killed hippie in them. And particularly last song of their last album. Its about humanity - "a great little soldier, marching far from home. He was lost and he was lonelly, pretending to be bold".
Maybe something really will be revealed, maybe not. But we must march on.